Well, it's been a week since the girls walked through the security checkpoint and magically became adults. A week of new beginnings. A week of learning to be here, without her. Now, really, I didn't imagine this would be too difficult...after all, she's been a young adult for a while. She's been to college for 2 years. She's been working..nights..for a year. I've learned how to wait up at night and not fret because she has to walk to her car alone in the dark. I've learned how to let her manage her college courses, time slots, homework, and friends. I've learned to let her drive, at night, alone, on the freeway. I've learned how to expect that she may not come home because something "better" came up. I've learned that a messy room indicates comfort, not disrespect. This is different. As I expected it to be, yet not. I thought I would be so busy getting into the new routine, spending time cleaning up, focusing on other people, that it wouldn't be so huge. This is different. She's farther away, yet closer in my mind. She's longer distance, but closer in prayer. She's travelling more, yet I can see her right here with me in the strangest of times and places.
I am so pleased that she is not here. That she is living the plans God has laid out for her. That she desires to stay in contact, even though she is tired and seeing the world. I am pleased. Yet...I miss her so sometimes. It's a good thing. I told Faith the other night that missing her means that we love her so much, and we are a close family. It is a good thing.
It's been a good week. A week of the new normal. I look forward to the next.
4 comments:
Many things you said mirror how I feel. Except I knew it would be difficult and I am surprised how quickly I am adjusting to being somewhat ok (for me emotionally) that she's gone. I still freak when they don't check in when I believe they should (as you know) but I thought the pain of the first day would continue for much longer. I still miss the tar out of Donna but I guess my heart is more resilient and realistic than I previously thought.
I'm glad they are following God's will but I'll still count the days until she is home and cry when missing her gets to be too much to bear. And the time can't go fast enough for me. Some things never change, I guess.
funny, but I don't want the time to rush by. I want them to experience ALL they can, so they don't feel like they wasted time. I also want to learn all I can while they are gone, and I feel like I have so very much to take in.
I am soo thankful for the sense of peace God is giving each of us. It is a huuuuge gift!
Letting go and letting God have His perfect plan for Heather, Donna and Lauren. You guys are amazing Moms! Hope you are still getting together for prayer. I remember you in my prayers also....
It's amazing how God enables us to adapt quickly to very big changes. I'm glad you've been able to adjust so well.
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