A new year every day

Here we are, awaiting the end of 2010. I find it kind of amusing how much we look forward to a new start in the new year. Why is it that we have to wait for a particular day to start anew? God tells us that His mercies are new every morning (Lam 3:22, 23), so we aren't given the Word as an example. And yet, here we are...so many waiting to celebrate the passing of the old, and welcome the new.
I hesitate to bring this up, but I have been pondering Romans 5:20b lately which says " but where sin abounded, grace abounded much more." This might lead us to think that we should feel free to sin, that God's grace may be even more apparent. I have been practicing this a little the last couple of weeks. I have wholly given myself over to the gluttony of chocolate and sugar. Cookies, candy, M & M's a specialty, all the while thinking that I will become so sick of the taste and effect that giving them up will be so much simpler. Ah, the lies we believe! I find that my tolerance has increased, as well as my craving for such unhealthy fare. Much like tolerance to sin. The more we indulge, the higher our tolerance and insensitivity to the healthy and whole.
Which brings to mind Romans 6:1,2,15 "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves to obey, you are that one's slaves whom you obey, whether of sin to death, or of obedience to righteousness?"
I don't know about you, but I don't want to wait for a special day to declare myself dead to sin and alive to righteousness! Why wait when I am missing so many blessings from not choosing kingdom living? Chocolate: be gone! You are death to my body, and sin in my mind. I choose a new year, every day!

Adoration

There are many Christmas Carols sung each year. Some playful, some jolly, some telling tales of wishes and hopes, some poignant and sweet. For me, there is a progression:

An acknowledgment that I am not resting in what the Lord has to offer me each season: Peace. Peace with Him, Peace from Him, Peace to pass on to others





This is one, each year, that no matter what my day has held, my time obliterated, my unfeeling heart missed, will stir in me such depth of thankfulness and worship that I can but weep. It sets the stage in my heart for Christmas.




Which leads me to
ADORATION.




Happy Birthday, Jesus! Thank you for leaving heaven, to live here, in order to reconcile me to the Father and lead me home.

Bebo

On a day like this
I want to crawl beneath a rock
A million miles from the world
The commotion that never seems to stop

And on a day like this
I want to run from the routine
Run away from the daily grind
That can suck the life right out of me

I only know of one place I can run to…

CHORUS:
I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth
So I can disappear
And love is all there is to see
Coming out of me
And you become clear
As I disappear

I don't want to care about earthly things
Be caught up in all the lies
That trick my eyes
They say it's all about me

I'm so tired of it being about me

I would rather be cast away
Separated from the human race
If I don't bring you glory

Thanks, Bebo, for capturing my heart in words I couldn't express.

Walls

A tiny gray blur jumped out at me this morning as I was reaching for more traveling cups in my garage. I was startled, to say the least! A mouse had climbed out of my stash of hot cocoa mix and ran away, only 6 inches from my bare feet. I shrieked. I believe this was an appropriate response to such an occasion.

It has caused me to ponder, however, my safeguards. You see, there had to have been an entrance for that little rodent, in order for it to have an exit. It must have located a "chink" in the wall. In the ancient world, a city without walls was a city completely open and vulnerable to its enemies. They had no defense, no protection at all. I had felt that my foodstuffs were safe in that pantry, easily accessible and at my fingertips when needed. Now, I feel violated.

I have a wall spiritually, as well. A Rock and a Fortress. His name is Jesus, and I feel completely protected when I am in the shelter of His walls. Psalm 139:4 says He hedges me in behind and before. This is wonderful comfort! And yet...I have my part - my response - as well. Jude 1:21 tells me to keep myself in the love of God. I am to keep falling in love with Him, keep remembering that He alone is my shelter and my protection. And so, I ponder. Have I allowed any "chinks" in my wall of love? Have I allowed anything that is a lie to drown out the truth? Have I allowed a love for anything in this world come up against my love for my Savior? Have I grown listless in checking my defenses? Is my armor (Ephesians 6) on and firmly fastened?

I know that my dear husband will deal with that small intruder. He is wonderful that way. I also know that my God can deal with any small intruder I have allowed to creep in. He is completely wonderful in every way.

He Knows Best

Except from the book "Surrender, the Heart God controls" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Quoting 'Living Sacrifice', by Dr. Helen Roseveare

To be a living sacrifice will involve all my time. God wants me to live every minute for Him in accordance with His will and purpose...No time can be considered my own, or as "off-duty" or "free."

To be a living sacrifice will involve all my possessions...All should be available to God for the furtherance of His kingdom. My money is His...He has the right to direct the spending of each penny...I must consider that I own nothing. All is God's, and what I have, I have on trust from Him, to be used as He wishes.

To be a living sacrifice will involve all of myself. My will and my emotions, my health and vitality, my thinking and activities all are to be available to God, to be employed as He chooses, to reveal Himself to others. All rights are His - to direct my living so that He can most clearly reveal Himself through me. God has the right, then, to choose my job, and where I work, to choose my companions and my friends...

To be a living sacrifice will involve all my love...I relinquish the right to choose whom I will love and how, giving the Lord the right to choose for me...I must bring all the areas of my affections to the Lord for His control, for here, above all else, I need to sacrifice my right to choose for myself.

I need to be so utterly God's that He can use me or hide me, as He chooses, as an arrow in His hand or in His quiver. I will ask no questions: I relinquish all rights to Him who desires my supreme good. He knows best.

Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service (of worship).

Embrace

Exodus 25:31

It is when you are beaten and yet continue to burn bright that the beauty, the reality of the Light of the World is most clearly seen. This means that the point at which you choose to embrace the difficulty that seems to beat upon you is the point where you will see Jesus in ways you've never seen Him before. It is when you're being beaten, when you're in the fiery trial, that Jesus is clearer to you than you ever dreamed possible. ~ Jon Courson

A fiery trial is what I am in right now, and I surely do feel those fiery darts flying at me. How wonderful it is, though, to know that I am in this trial at the Lord's bidding - because He wants to burn away the dross and purify my life. While I welcome the cleansing, the process is surely painful. I wonder how long this stubborn self will fight the work. I don't choose the fight, yet I find my old man hasn't reckoned itself dead. Pride. Habits. Old thought patterns. They are my enemy. They need to be washed in the blood of the Lamb, sometimes minute by minute. I will choose grace. I will choose obedience. I will choose to embrace the difficulty so that I may continue to see Jesus is ways I never have before. I will choose to shine by reflecting the glow of my Savior's holiness and love.

I choose to shine.

Independence

Wow. Today marks the 9th anniversary of the call to come in for my dual-organ transplant. It was funny walking around the Del Mar Fairgrounds a few days ago...it always brings me face-to-face with the decision that changed so many things in my life. The transplant has given me more time, more strength, different challenges, more choices.

I know that God isn't done conforming me into the image of His Son. I am thankful for the time He has given me. I hope to redeem the time, yet realize just how unfaithful I can be. By His mercy and grace, I will stand fast in the hope I have, and run the race with endurance. Keeping my eyes on the prize of the upward call of Christ Jesus my Lord.

Thank You, Jesus, for my life.
Thank you for every breath, every beat of my heart.
Thank you, unknown family, for the lifesaving gift of new organs. I hope to honor your gift with the way I spend my time here.

Independence is a beautiful!

Mother's Musings

Today our girl turns 23. Wow. 23. It sounds so grown up. And...she is. I don't know what she would say are her favorite memories are as a child...mine are easy.

It's funny, being a mom. You would think that the memories would include the pains of childbirth: a month in the hospital with toxemia, only to deliver 4 weeks early and in a sudden rush of panic. I remember how delighted I was that she was a girl - faking everyone else out beforehand to boot. I always wanted a little girl.

The pains of toddlerhood could include: temper, stubbornness, whining, messes, nap-deprivation. What I remember is baking cookies while she sat on the counter, dancing around the room while she giggled, pushing her on the swing in the back yard, coming home after work and her delighted squeal when she saw me.

The pangs of kinders might include: tears at parting, tears at reuniting, tears in the car, refusing to get out of the car, refusing to put toys/clothes/shoes away.What I remember are the smiles when I helped out in class, painting Easter eggs, her friend Steven, jumping waves at the beach as she tanned and glowed. Putting her to bed over and over again because she just didn't want to miss anything.

The "joy" of youth might bring grimaces of : not wanting to wake up ANY morning, bad classmates, changing schools every couple of years, homework, homework, homework. But I remember sleepy warm cheeks, delightful field trips, summer camp counseling as she held my hand and hiked, leaving for a week the first time, baking cookies for me. The RAT party.

The trials of teens might bring moans from: practices for school plays, picking a major for college, MORE homework, driving school, stubborn know-it-alls. I get to reminisce about driving to rehearsals and hearing her sing her parts, driving home from school and sharing confidences, watching as she figured out her hair and makeup, began serving in her own style at church, proudly walking her sister around the block in her little red car. Making me soup on a tray, with flowers when I was sick. Planning an anniversary party with Fifi.

Now, I have an adult. a delightful friend, confidant, and true sister in Christ. We laugh at the same jokes, love the same movies, and introduce each other to different music. I love this young woman who lives in this house. I miss her terribly when she's gone for any length of time. Yet...let her go I will. She has learned how to find her wings, and now uses them to great, good purpose.

Heather...you remain a most delightful treasure from the Lord. Thanks for allowing me to share in the journey.

Happy Birthday beloved daughter.

New Venture

I am seeking the answer to a question....here are the devotionals I just read:

Feb 9th Gen 11:1-3
We should not be surprised when the living stones we live with rubs us the wrong way. It is all part of God's plan to knock off our rough edges so when we get to heaven we'll all fit together perfectly.
Expect it to be hard. Allow others to smooth out your rough spots.
Feb 10th Gen 11:9, Gal 2:28
It is only in Christ that our division is obliterated. There will be division, our unity in Christ will be the peacemaker.

Feb 11th Matt 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you. These things in this case to be: purpose, identity in Christ, security in His provision and protection.
Feb 12 Gen 12:4
God waited for Abram, though he was 25 years delaying in obedience. God wasn't mad. Just as we don't yell at our children when they fall down while learning to walk, neither does God. He knows this is how we learn to walk by faith. Take hope. His mercy is new every morning and His grace is limitless. You will need to walk by faith alone.

Feb 13 Gen 12:7
Wherever you go, build an altar of worship. It will alter who you are, how you feel, and the way you think. Do this in worship of your King, and remember to continue in worship no matter the circumstance.

Feb 14 Gen 12:10-12
Abram saw trials, and falls because he doesn't stay in the land God gave him. He ran to the world. He took matters into his own hands. Man always struggles and stumbles in his area of strength. Consider yourself weak in all areas, rely on God. You will not be strong in this, unless you allow God to do all things.

Conclusion: You WILL struggle. You will need to repent often. You will feel weak. There will be opportunity for division. This will be hard! Pray. Worship. Walk in faith.

New Year

As I sit basking in the warmth of the sun, feeling my hands warm up and ice melt from my heart: I ponder the dead garden in front of me. It's old plants bent, brown, looking forlorn and overlooked. Yet, I know that much goes on beneath the surface. The Lord is never idle. I look forward to spring, to bright light and green shoots. May I be like that plant that springs forth from the dirt: roots already deepening through the winter's dim light. Green shoots reaching for Your light, ready to bud and bloom. May I bear rich, sweet fruit unto You. May my roots ever deepen, not to be found short and stunted but deeply planted, healthy, ready for every good work.

I know that it may be winter here, yet You work still. May my heart not be found icy, bare, brown. May you find the soil readily tilled, awaiting Your work and ready for the seed you will scatter.

Thank You for the warmth that You have spread across my heart, chasing away the winter's chill.

Blurt

Got to do some ministry today...not really feeling like I was prepared, but I sure did pray a lot!

I find that I seek wisdom more than anything when I pray. I feel so ill-equipped, that wisdom is the word that sneaks out so often. Truth be told, it does more than sneak. It almost blurts out. I find great comfort in the verse that says For wisdom is better than rubies, and all the things one may desire cannot be compared with her Prov. 8:11 Thank you, God, that I don't have to determine what wisdom is. You do. Your word is wisdom, Your Holy Spirit gives wisdom, You decide what words I speak and what a person needs to hear as wisdom. You are the answer to every dilemma.

Praise God.