Gifts from the heart

We decided to make each other gifts this year for Christmas. Not because of finances specifically, more because we wanted to focus more on the person rather than the gift itself. (Heather's idea - gotta love that girl!) Mind you, we didn't really determine to accomplish this until early December, so time was a significant factor in the giving. Also, take into account the different stages of craftsmanship and age, and you can see that this project had many avenues it could take. selah.

Behold some of the outcome of our ventures:

Chuck made beautiful wooden boxes to store treasure in for the girls:
Heather made stunning blankets for Faith and I ( and I thought that girl couldn't sew a stitch!)

I made warm flannel jammies for the girls. It was truly amazing, the two of us sharing the sewing machine and not telling the other what we were up to.


Heather made Chuck some beef jerky and a scarf, and I made him some hot carrots. You can tell he thought he got some coal, at first.



Faith was truly delightful. She made Heather a "savings Lamb" so that she could begin squirrelling away more money for her next trip to England. Keep in mind, she doesn't want her big sister going so far away again - this was truly sacrifice on her part. She made me a beautiful bird house, and Chuck some much-needed coupons for chores and fun with her.

I think this was the sweetest Christmas we've had for some time. Knowing that Chuck's dad wasn't with us for the first time, I think the distractions were a welcome relief and blessing. If you notice, there are NO pictures of me up here. That's because I was up until between 1-3 in the morning for the last week and I look like the walking dead.

It was all worth it.

Ahhh, Rain

It's Raining!
Yeah!
Finally!

I love the rain. The sound on the roof, the scent of it, the way the light dims and glows, the warmth of a fire crackling in the hearth. Sitting on the couch, snuggled in a blanket, something warm to sip, a great book in my hand. Heather and I spent many a happy day (and evening) this way when she was young, now I want to build those memories with Faith.

It doesn't hurt that the Christmas tree glows with pretty little lights, either!

Ahhhh, rain.

Black Friday

'Black Friday': a day where people typically begin their frantic rushing to buy instead of sitting to reflect - I'm choosing worship. I want to begin posting songs that move me, and hopefully speak some sort of truth, hope, peace, or joy to you. Now, I'm not bashing those frantic people out there in the masses, trying to get a gift for those they care about at a reasonable price. No way, the times are tough and sometimes just the challenge and adventure can make the trip fun. I just thought a little music for the soul would carry us a bit better. Let's remember the Reason - Jesus. The season - Joy. The gift - Hope.

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day - Casting Crowns


Strange Way to Save the World - 4Him


Adoration - Newsboys

I pray your day is full of sweet memories in the making, remembrances of laughter and joy,
honor for the deserving,
blessing for the cook(s)

and praise unto our Creator, for whom all thanks is due.


Happy Thanksgiving!

Dynamite

Pastor Steven Gachenko from Harvesters Christian Church in Kenya visited us today. My, how I love that man! He is so different from the style of preaching I am used to - and much to my dismay I didn't want to hear him the first time he came. I'm an old Catholic - southern-baptist style preaching was never my gig. (I must admit, we all did our best to yell Hallelujah and Amen at the appropriate times, just so he felt more at home. ) Yet I find in this man something that draws me. At first, I couldn't figure it out. Too loud. Too...something. THEN, I got it. It was the dynamic presence of the Holy Spirit. As I listened to him last year, I was reminded of the base word in the Bible for the Holy Spirit - dynamo. The Spirit is dynamite! One of His purposes is to expose those places in us that need to be opened up to the Word, in order to be conformed. Steven is filled with the dynamic power of the Holy Spirit. You can hear it when he lays a hand on a person he's never spoken to, and prays. He pours out the love and correction and healing of God. He listens, and speaks what the Lord would say could we hear Him audibly. It's just plain powerful and compelling.

Today, he came again. To share his love with us. To tell us that he hears and feels when we pray for them. He feels us to be his dear family, though we are thousands of miles away. That, too, is powerful. Prayer should be powerful - it connects us to the very heart of God.

His message today: time to get ready! Our Savior is coming for His church, His bride. Every day should be a day of preparation. Made me wonder what I was wasting my time doing. I was certainly convicted of time wasting - TV is limited from now on. It doesn't really help me get my work done.

Time to be about daily preparation. His question - one we need to ask every morning: Are you being changed by the Word daily? Conformed into the image of Jesus - loving more, helping more, being more like Him? Jer: 6:16, 17. He is calling those who have fallen away to come back to the right path.

Matt 7:13, 14 God is calling us back to the power of the Word. Flesh and blood will not reap everlasting life - only the spirit. Are we feeding the spirit?! He reminded me, in a most engaging way, that it is a narrow road we are called to walk down. Our flesh is to be squeezed out, to remove those things that keep us from walking this path. The more we feed the flesh, the fatter we become, the harder to find and keep walking down that road.

And then, the final point that pierced my heart: knowledge without faith won't help. We still sin when there is no faith in the area we are being tempted. I have always considered myself a person of strong faith. Until I looked in the mirror of the Word this morning and realized I haven't been applying it lately. I speak faith, but don't hold the mirror up before my own sin.

I am thankful for that man from Kenya. While I don't think I would care for his style on a weekly basis (I love my pastor's heart for the Word and the way his face glows when he shares with us), I do appreciate the message he brought for my heart today. I pray to be found faithful at Jesus' appearing, and I believe I will be found more so since hearing this particular message.

Come. Lord Jesus. Come.

Beauty and Light

Melissa Ross Photography



This is my current project - doesn't it look elegant?! No worries, I take no credit for this beautiful display of light and beauty. Melissa did the hard stuff. I only take credit for asking Melissa, and buying the candles.

This has been quite the journey. While I love doing what the Lord has called me to, there was quite the struggle to define if I was called to this particular task. I was told during Retreat to be faithful to the things He has called me to. Loved that part. What I wasn't sure of, was whether this year we were to have an event. No matter the amount of prayer, I just wasn't sure.

The Lord has found a way to speak, though I know there were times He despaired of my hearing. He used a confident "YES" from our guest speaker when she was asked. He used a frantic shopping trip - trips to be exact- to create a centerpiece. He used a "what's the date so I can put it on my calendar?" from our worship saint - which I loved because, again, there was no hesitation. And, as always, the encouragement of those who know me so well, and love me anyway. They just seem to anticipate something lovely and moving, which always surprises me. I just don't see such things coming from my reserves. Which is the true delight. They don't really come from me, they come from the One who created all things and wants to bless His kids. So, here we have the beauty and light created by Melissa. Soon, we will have cake, or some such dessert. And hopefully, we will be reminded of joy.

It is a joyful thing to celebrate the wonder of the Lord.

Seasons of Change

The Before:

The After:


Faith got her braces off this morning - What a sweet face!

The loot in her hands is from her Orthodontist - he gave her everything he told her not to eat for the last year as a reward.

I am so happy for Faith! She looks lovely, and her teeth are all lined up for future growth. Now, onto the retainer and the reshaping of her jaw!

I had a special blessing this week. My precious assistant/partner for Women's Bible Study had a conflicting appointment for Wednesday evening, and wasn't able to be there for group time. To my utter delight, Heather said YES to stepping in and filling the gap. Now, you must understand that group time isn't Heather's favorite. In fact, she has avoided attending until this year, preferring to come for lecture time. So, for her to unhesitatingly agree was a very pleasant surprise.

I didn't really give her much in the way of instruction - a little "meet and greet," a little "hand them this card if they're new," was about it. You just never know what will come up during group time. It's definitely a "walk in the Spirit" kind of affair.

She shone. That truly described the night. She had the ladies comfortable, well fed with oatmeal-cranberry cookies and coffee. They were ready to begin when I stepped in the room. She kept me to a good time, offered good input on the questions, and just really glowed. I'm not partial. I swear.

What an utter blessing to serve with my daughter. What wisdom she has, and shares so sweetly. What a joy.

I missed my sweet assistant. Don't get me wrong - she's my partner in this calling. I just thank God that I have a willing helper, an enabled and equipped servant living in my home to walk this Christian road with.

I am a blessed woman.

Weariness

Gal 6:9 And let us not grow weary while doing good; for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.


I am challenged by this verse. I want to do good, especially to those I care about. Those to whom the Word of God has been received, and I have had the privilege of walking alongside. Where I struggle is with the time I have to give, and knowing the amount of giving I am to do. I struggle not to get in God's way, and yet be the hands and feet - the vessel - He would have me to be. My job is to not lose heart. To lose heart is defined as

a) to have one's strength relaxed, to be enfeebled through exhaustion, to grow weak, grow weary, be tired out

b) to despond, become faint hearted

c) as a woman in labor experiences before delivery - when the work is hard and painful, but also unfinished and unrewarded.

So, one of many questions remains: how do I not lose heart? What is the antidote? A better question: what do I do to not get in this place of weariness. For we are to spend ourselves (2 Cor 12: 17) for the sake of the beloved. I believe the answer is in the calling. To make sure I specifically am called to this particular path. This particular service at this particular time. And then, to make sure my own well of love and giving is filled by the source of all love and strength. I need to make sure my first priority is to spend time with my God. To know that I am a fit worker, cleansed and filled with the Holy Spirit's empowering. For He who calls is faithful, He also will do it. Then the weariness will be one of the body spent in holy service, not the one of a body and mind working against God's holy calling and equipping.

Thanks, God, for the reminder that this giving isn't about me, it's about You in me.

Heart's Desire

Zechariah 8:23b NLT

And they will say, 'Please let us walk with you, for we have heard that God is with you.'

OH! To be know far and wide that God is with you, because you walk with Him! I want that. I hunger for that. Not for my notoriety, no, no! But for His! I want to be a woman after God's own heart. I want others to see Jesus in me, and desire that kind of relationship with Him as well.

Let it be, dear Father. Let YOUR light shine through this cracked pot, for Your glory and other's salvation. Amen.

Ministering Spirits

Just a little story to share -

My friend lost her 12-year companion today. She was a dog who was her constant confidante and playmate, and sometime reason-for-living. While I was out with this friend this afternoon, we were in the parking lot over by her car. She had given me some dog food to get it out of her car, and burst into tears. I went over and put a hand on her shoulder, when a man walked up and offered to help us. (He must've thought she had car trouble) We told him no, we were OK. He asked again, watching her, and I quietly told him that she had lost her pet today. He very quietly asked if he could pray for us. I said yes, and she nodded. That precious saint prayed for her dog to be returned to her, for God to comfort her, for Jesus to be her helper, etc. It was so obvious he was a Christian. He said Amen, then checked on her again to see if there was anything he could do. I quietly explained that her pet had died - he smiled and said it was OK, Jesus knew her heart and would answer every prayer. Then he smiled and walked away.

I just love that God sends angels unlooked for. He was just the right touch at a hard time, and I felt really ministered to. I was able to send my friend home knowing that God had sent her a personal touch, to build up her faith and comfort her.

She wasn't the only one.

Partnerships

Women's Bible study begins again on Wed, the 17th. This is big news! I love Bible study. I love the accountability, sitting at His feet to learn fresh and new, the new groups and women I get to know a little better as we fellowship. I love it.

I was reading Ezra 5 this morning and was struck by a verse.

The enemies of Judah and Benjamin heard that the exiles were rebuilding a Temple to the Lord, the God of Israel. 2 So they approached Zerubbabel and the other leaders and said, "Let us build with you, for we worship your God just as you do. We have sacrificed to him ever since King Esarhaddon of Assyria brought us here."
3 But Zerubbabel, Jeshua, and the other leaders of Israel replied, "You may have no part in this work, for we have nothing in common. We alone will build the Temple for the Lord, the God of Israel, just as King Cyrus of Persia commanded us."
4 Then the local residents tried to discourage and frighten the people of Judah to keep them from their work. 5 They bribed agents to work against them and to frustrate their aims. This went on during the entire reign of King Cyrus of Persia and lasted until King Darius of Persia took the throne.

I think what struck me most was that the residents who came offered to help build. They offered evidence of worship and history. They wanted to serve - or so they said. I marvel at the response, because you know that they needed all the help they could get in order to accomplish this most holy task. They said 'no - you have no part in this work, for we have nothing in common.' It strikes me so deeply because I need someone to come alongside to help with this work of leading group, and it has to be someone with the same mindset, goals, and calling as myself. Someone who won't tear down what is being built up. Someone who can guard the work of the Lord. This is a tricky thing to find, I have found, especially if you aren't familiar with the voice of the Holy Spirit. People can serve without Him, but it surely is harder to do!

God has blessed me with an assistant I love. She is precious to my heart. More importantly, she has the same vision I do. To love the ladies and point them to Jesus. She has a passion for God's Word and a tender heart for the lost and struggling. I feel blessed this year, as in the past, to know that this is a partnership that God has joined together. I can't wait to see what the Lord will do in all our lives this coming year.

My Bad

Well, I promised "more to follow", and then didn't follow through.  My bad.  I guess I need to fulfill that statement before I move on, and not be made out a liar by my own writings.  Sometimes, I just get myself in trouble.  sigh.

The week was one of the most stunning in weather I have experienced.  The wind was mild, the sun was clear and bright, the morning overcast was almost non-existent, and my tan just glows.  I got the absolute joy of having about 5 hours without children, husband and responsibilities on Tuesday, and I spent it worshipping the son and the sand.  It was delightful.  I must admit to not quite reaching the middle of my unprotected back with sunscreen, and paying the price for the rest of the week.  Truly my bad!  I did enjoy finding myself with a pillow under my head and an adventure book in my hand...cold soda beside me.  The picture of contentment.

While I missed my sweet spouse, I must admit to stretching out fully on the bed each night to sleep undisturbed.  No dogs to tend.  No children to fuss (they were both snoring quietly from the moment their heads hit the pillows until about 7:30 each morning) no blankets for fight over.  I have to admit to tremendous loneliness the first couple of days, though.  My honey was at work and my best friend was taking care of visiting relatives.  I don't usually get lonely or depressed..it was quite startling when I identified the emotions.  Thankfully, my phone worked for outgoing calls and the kids kept me well entertained.

Heather decided to go visit her cousins who live over an hour's drive away during this week.  Another great surprise.  She has never driven this freeway, much less alone.  She is surely gaining in confidence and wisdom!  I am so proud of her!  She went mid-week, then joined me at the end of the week for the last beach-trip before school started.  She's such a great person to boogie-board with, I really missed her.

Speaking of boogie-boarding, I must confess to really enjoying myself out there now that I own a wetsuit.  Such fun!  I actually rode, for the first time, a wave that I think surfers set their sights on.  I hit a huge wave just before it broke, and rode the ensuing 3 breakers behind it all the way into shore.  Exhilarating!!  Faith has become quite the boogie rider, herself.  She will spend the whole day out there riding in various waves, on various vehicles (boards, rings, whatever is at hand) completely forgetting to come in to eat.  or drink water.  It's amazing.  She used to be so afraid of the waves.  Of course, she is still cautious about depth and needs to build up her swimming skills.  She is still such a joy to watch.  She, too, makes me proud.

By the time the week was over, I was ready to come home.  I felt that I did all the things I wanted to - a bike ride to Starbucks with the girls was our finishing hurrah.  I look back fondly, and look forward to going again.  We each grew this week, and we are the better for it.

Vacation

What I did last week....more to follow.

: )

Last Hurrah

Well, it's time for the last hurrah of summer: our final week at the beach camping. I am really looking forward to going back, but with a hint of sadness. Daddy can't come with us, he has to stay and work. I knew this when I planned our trip way back in February (a lifetime ago!), and what I envisioned was some time with my friend playing Boggle and some time in the water with Faith. I wasn't sure about Heather, whether she would even be here or be in York or Germany or Israel or?

Plans have evolved.

My friend's daughter is getting married today, and her child will be with us the whole week. Along with her sisters, nieces, and assorted family members. While this is really good, it changes the shape of the picture.

My sister-in-law is coming with assorted friends/family. I may get to move her motor home for her once or twice (something I've always wanted to try driving - daredevil that I am.)

My mother-in-law remains the same - constant and steady. I'm glad for that.

I now have to leave for orientation meetings for Faith's new school - I forgot about that when I scheduled the week, but I new it was coming. I will be hurrying back, believe me on that one!

I'm excited to see what this week brings - but first, I have to finish packing the trailer and cleaning my house and attending the wedding of a precious girl I have known since she was about 7. Something I refuse to rush, being with my friend as her life permanently changes and her daughter's blooms. Today will be quite the day.

Additions

I added a new spot...a blog for my devotions.

Seemed like a good accountability thing (I borrowed the idea from someone with more initiative than me.)



Seems like writing is going to become my greater past-time. You'll have to let me know if I should stop :)



check out my links

Divine Possibilites

I've been doing some soul searching - something everyone should do on a regular basis, I've determined. I found something of such power, I have to share it.
This is from Streams in the Desert by Charles E. Cowman

"Nothing shall be impossible unto you" (Matt.
17:20).

It is possible, for those who really are willing
to reckon on the power of the Lord for keeping
and victory, to lead a life in which His promises
are taken as they stand and are found to be true.


It is possible to cast all our care upon Him
daily and to enjoy deep peace in doing it.

It is possible to have the thoughts and
imaginations of our hearts purified, in the
deepest meaning of the word.

It is possible to see the will of God in
everything, and to receive it, not with sighing,
but with singing.

It is possible by taking complete refuge in
Divine power to become strong through and
through; and, where previously our greatest
weakness lay, to find that things which formerly
upset all our resolves to be patient, or pure, or
humble, furnish today an opportunity--through Him
who loved us, and works in us an agreement with
His will and a blessed sense of His presence and
His power--to make sin powerless over us.

These things are DIVINE POSSIBILITIES, and
because they are His work, the true experience of
them will always cause us to bow lower at His
feet and to learn to thirst and long for more.

We cannot possibly be satisfied with anything
less--each day, each hour, each moment, in
Christ, through the power of the Holy
Spirit--than to WALK WITH GOD. --H. C. G. Moule

We may have as much of God as we will. Christ
puts the key of the treasure-chamber into our
hand, and bids us take all that we want. If a man
is admitted into the bullion vault of a bank, and
told to help himself, and comes out with one
cent, whose fault is it that he is poor? Whose
fault is it that Christian people generally have
such scanty portions of the free riches of God?
--McLaren.

I love it when God uses something to drive a point home, unlooked for by me of course. It's some of these words that capture my attention:
KEEP. I know God keeps me from falling into utter ruin apart from His eternal presence. Knowing, and experiencing it to it's fullness is the point here.

He can purify the thoughts and intents of my heart. selah. (that means pause and deeply consider). He wants to purify my intentions, not just understand them and give me what's better for me. wow.

To experience the fullness of God. A desire I keep forgetting to ask for and to have my hands open fully to receive. He has such great things for me, and I don't remember to ask and expect.

Soul seaching can be painful. But it surely yields much fruit!

Summer Fun

WOW. I can't believe it's already August. What does happen to the time? Well, I can't account for yours, but I will try to account for some of mine.

First off: school ended. whew! Third grade was full of changes, challenges, and choices. Faith will be attending a new sister/school to her current location. I'm excited for the change - mostly because she is excited. Mind you, we are a family that plods reluctantly to change, and then decides afterward rather hesitantly that it was a really good idea after all. So, to hear her shout joyfully when we got the acceptance call was quite a pleasant surprise to me.

Secondly: Faith had her tonsils out. That was major stuff! She did great through it all - a real trooper! She survived on a small vanilla creme "frappaccino" a day for about 10 days, lost about 7 pounds, and gave her body the shock of it's young life when it discovered uninterrupted sleep for the first time in years. It is lovely to see the dark circles under her eyes disappear, her vitality increase, and her moods level out. She really is feeling better.

Thirdly: 2, count 'em 2, trips to vacation at the beach. Sheer heaven! We had a great time in the surf, in the sand, in the trailer. We played, we prayed, we s'mored, we rode bicycles into town for a Starbuck's run. We had a lovely time. I'm looking forward to our summer finale - a last week at the beach the end of August. God is amazing to create such a lovely atmosphere for us to consider His glory, His creativity, His desire to bless His kids with something just to behold and appreciate. Gotta love that God of ours - He just gives and gives.

Lastly: I got to go to a concert with my sweetheart and my friend. How can you not love a night with MercyMe??? It was amazing. The opening band was really good: Tenth Avenue North. You should check them out. David Crowder Band puts on a very energetic show. Then: the marvelous, true worship of our Savior in the wonderful sounds from MercyMe. Poor Bart had pneumonia, and still opened the show in perfect pitch and A'Capella sweetness. He just draws you into heartfelt worship. An experience I wouldn't hesitate to repeat, ever!

That's about the updates for now. Summer still marches on, and it's time to start thinking about getting ready for school. Shopping. hmmmmm....that could be fun!

Night Owls

In the Beginning.... Faith's class had a field trip to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. We left school early, chaperones all matched up and cars at the ready. I had Faith, Michaela, Dylan and Noah. Dylan and Noah were assigned to me #1, because I am familiar with the class and in particular these two boys, and #2, because I'm not afraid to say NO with a decisive tone to my voice. I must admit to using that decisive tone on more than one occasion on this trip.
These are our night-time tent-mates. They are lovely girls who tell great round-robin stories, drink vast quantities of hot chocolate, and (mostly) tried to eat small crawling critters. It was a good night had by most.
This is a 5 year-old alligator that we all got to pet. Now, where else in the world can you pet a baby alligator and smile while doing it?
Of course, you MUST visit the petting zoo when at the park. Faith is particularly fond of deer. And, may I say, the deer are equally fond of her!

This is the grand finale - minus a slurpee in the car on the way home. Weariness certainly lowered the volume in the car on the way - whew! A good time was had by all. I must commend the Wild Animal Park for a superbly organized, well-rounded, well-fed outing. It was informative, fun, nicely paced, and refreshing. I reccomend it highly!

Looking

I've been thinking lately. Scary, I know.
I'm about to begin a new endeavor, and I'm not sharing what exactly that is. It's just that I have been taking stock of a few things lately, and keep coming back around to the same realization. It's simple, really. A simple truth. Here it is:
If I would just get the simple, amazing, wondrous truth of the Cross, my sin just wouldn't be so attractive any more. I wouldn't be drawn to it. I wouldn't be mesmerized by it. I wouldn't be wallowing in it. I wouldn't even be giving into it.

Now. How simple is that?!

Isn't it great that God, in His infinite wisdom, knew that it would be the simplicity of the gospel that would confound the wise. It's the simplicity of looking to Him that breaks the spell of looking to sin. It's the simple grace of God in which we stand, and which we cannot stand before Him without.

I love that God loves the simple. He must. He loves me.

Preparation

I was preparing for Retreat today...and in it's preparation I was reading a C.S.Lewis book. That may sound an odd combination to you, so let me explain. I am leaving early in the morning in order to pick up passengers and drop off daughters so that I can play with my friends before our arrival time. We are going to brunch, then heading off to see the new Narnia movie: Prince Caspian. I wanted to acquaint myself with the Land of Narnia before seeing the movie, so I picked up the book The Silver Chair. I found this lovely passage I want to share with you:

Stand still. In a moment I will blow. But, first, remember, remember, remember the signs. Say them to yourself when you awake in the morning, and when you lie down at night, and when you wake in the middle of the night. And whatever strange things may happen to you, let nothing turn your mind from following the signs. And secondly, I give you a warning. Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain the air is clear, and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart and to pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters.

I love how God meets me wherever I am. How He is so very personal, to be preparing me for what He wants to teach me, show me, impress upon my heart. He has such wonderful things in store for me this weekend, He isn't willing to wait to begin.
Here I am, Lord. Conform me.

Hands

Yesterday was my kind of day.

We began with church: I had to cry first thing. Pastor Dale talked about hands. Mother's hands. He asked us to look at our hands - and not to notice if we all needed a good dose of lotion and a manicure. He talked about Mom's hands: how they wipe a fevered brow. How they hug a tear away. How they wash untold amounts of dishes and fold mountains of laundry. How they hold a Bible to read, in order to gain wisdom. How they fold to pray. How, in all this, they seek to be used to raise Godly children full of wisdom and grace. What conviction! I wondered how many opportunities I have missed to bless my children with my folded hands, and missed holding my Bible for wisdom instead of relying on my own.

After church service, we headed home. Faith and Heather had arrived early and put some sweet touches on the house: a banner on the door, fresh flowers and tablecloth in the dining room, the smell of scones baking in the oven. Precious! Chuck served made-to-order omelettes with all the trimmings for brunch (yum!), Grandma was in attendance and the drooling dogs were locked in the back yard.

Then: the very best part of the day. Piling on the couch to watch movies, cuddle, share running commentaries, and leftover scones and fruit to munch. Not to mention a couple of dear friends to share it with. How can you not LOVE a Jane Austen/Cary Grant festival on a Sunday afternoon?! With your children! (Chuck chose the Padres on the other TV. Somehow, it seemed the manly thing to do!)

It was a sweet day. I feel so honored to be ... honored. I know it's because my girls really want to spend time with me. I know that I delight to be with them. To watch them create a gift of themeselves with all their talents and imagination is such a delight. I want to pass on a legacy of offering up the work of their hands to the Lord, for His good will and pleasure. I know that I was full of smiles yesterday - as I believe the Lord was as we both watched His girls give themselves away.

I pray to use my hands for service. It's my heart's desire - to serve. My girls and my sweet husband sure served me yesterday. Utter sweetness.

Thanks, God, for calling me to be a Mom.

21

We celebrated Heather's 21st Birthday today.

21.

Wow. Where did that time go?

I know we spent an awful lot of it together...as a youngster we used to dance around the house together (we had a lot less furniture then!) As a youth we watched TV shows and fell in love with characters and places. As a 'tween, we investigated medical miracles as we welcomed a new little sister to the household. As a teen, we laid around on the couch and read books to each other. Remember Lord of the Rings? We tackled it in all it's wonder and uniqueness one hot summer. We learned to drive together - me as a refresher course, and she out of sheer necessity and obedience. We tackled new hair styles, the new world of makeup, the trials of fashion, and the silence that only really stubborn girls can give their mom's. We tackled cooking (cookies being our specialty), cleaning (she's a great organizer of other people's belongings), and even did a few years homeschooling. We played puppies - er, she played, I let her bark. We tried sewing - not her gift. We tried gardening - she grew lovely strawberries! And, from a very young age, she learned how to take care of a mom with a lot of medical difficulties, and did it with great wisdom, compassion, and forgiveness.

Tomorrow, she turns 21. Today, we went to Shakespeare's Tea Shoppe for high tea. As a surprise which, by-the-way, she guessed before we even arrived. She's like her dad that way. A quick study. Anyway, Dad and I wanted a sweet way to celebrate her life, her passions, and her future. High Tea seemed just the thing. It was a reminder of something she loved as a small child (tea parties) and something she truly experienced as an adult in York. It was a smashing success, but for the simple thing of forgetting the camera. ugh! What a lovely time we all had, as she shared reminiscences of Bible college, showed us the proper way to order and drink tea, and described everything we were sampling. She's really turned into a fabulous young woman, with a style all her own, and someone I really feel privileged to call friend.

Tonight, grandma took us all out to dinner to celebrate. I must confess, Heather has always been "her girl," ever since she babysat for us one week when Heather was about 4 months old. It's a match made in heaven. It was so sweet to see the two of them sharing some quiet time and special glances reserved for the two of them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Heather, my special treasure! May this be a year full of joy, growth, and blessing.

Ready Enough

I've been thinking about the last month...lots to consider there, really. I had some really good lessons on the word "grace." That topic could be considered a lifetime study - but, I've spoken (or written, as it were) a touch on that one already.

Grace, in all it's concepts and realities, was the greatest gift of understanding I've had in quite some time.

Then, there was taking care of Dusty. I've had the privilege of carting him to and fro to multitudes of doctor's appointments...some necessary, some not. Some were of the "let's check you out and see what we can do to make things better" variety. Some were of his own making, because he needed some special attention and doctors seem to be his instrument of choice. It was a privilege, really, because he is a proud man and very independent. The fact that he allowed me to help, and even welcomed it, was a statement of great trust and acceptance. I must admit, it was really lovely to have him all to myself, and steer the conversation to topics that I enjoyed and he seemed to want to comment on. All in preparation for: the last month. I have loved the progession: grace, then a use for the gifts of the Holy Spirit which I had begun to doubt I even posessed.

Then, there was the new puppy. Micah. I've written of him a bit lately, too. He's a beast. It's just the perfect nickname for a "little man" that thinks he's big, but just can't seem to reach those places the big dog gets too. Yet. I know Chuck thought I was crazy wanting another dog - puppy - but I must say that in the long run, God's hand was in it and he has proven to be a big blessing. He was a great source of comfort after long days at the hospital: something warm, silly, and soft to remind us of God's intimate care for us in every situation.

Now, you know, Dusty passed away not too long ago. I've had soo many people asking this same question: "Were you ready for him to die?" Such an interesting question. I don't think you can ever really answer that question with a resounding YES! I can say that we had time to prepare, time to prepare him, and time to let go. In the long run, I can truly say that God doesn't ask you if you're ready...when He calls, you go. HE must have felt we were ready enough. He had done the preparing: Dusty walked with God. I even had the opportunity to pray the "sinner's prayer" again, just because he wanted that blessed assurance. God had prepared our family as we all began to grieve with a smile on our faces as Dusty said his good-byes. Whether we wanted him to go or not really wasn't the question. God decided we were ready enough, and enough was what He has given us to get through it all. Enough grace. Enough love. Enough attention span. Enough energy. Just enough, which is all you really need.

What I found the most interesting after he passed away was this: People not asking questions....just saying what they think you want to hear, and moving along. No one has asked about his last days. No one has asked if he said anything special. No one has really looked me in the eye and asked if there was anything I wanted to share or talk about. Isn't that funny? I tell you, I have learned an awful lot about what to do when someone goes through this experience.

Rule #1: give them all the time and space they need to get through it.

Rule #2: ask, then listen for the answer.

We all need to be heard...even if it's hard on the hearer. As the hearer, we aren't sure what to ask, or what to say. I can now say with all assurance: ASK. Part of grieving is sharing the bitter, and the sweet. And sweet it can be when someone goes home to be with the Lord. Sweetness is the sunrise as your loved one draws his last breath. Sweetness is the smile that crosses your face as the sunrise turns golden, and you know they are now walking the streets of gold with Jesus. Sweetness is knowing you spent your last hours meeting other's needs, and it wasn't in your own strength or might or thoughts. Sweetness in the peace you can't explain, but you just feel it around you like a warm, cozy blanket as you leave the hospital room for the last time.

Ready enough? Yes. God made sure, because His time is always perfect, and it is He who calls us home.

Resurrection Day

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever would believe in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

Praise be to God, we are not condemned, but redeemed and promised Eternal life. Life here just isn't "all that!"

Hallelujah.

Peace

Garland Clell "Dusty" Rhoads

April 22, 1927 to March 16, 2008

At home with Jesus.

A man with a sense of humor, integrity, pride, service, and giving.

We are blessed to have known and loved him.

Dad's Special Day

Yesterday was Chuck's birthday...I won't tell you which one. He's kinda sensitive about that stuff. Now, I must confess, I am not good at picking gifts for him. He's like his parents, they don't really want anything, and if they did they wouldn't tell you. They put others first, and themselves last. For example: that man has been driving the same car for almost 20 years. (and it looks like it!) It's not that we haven't had newer vehicles, it's just that he always gives them to me to drive. His family is first, always. Well, the girls and I wanted to make something special for him. So, we devised a plan: surprise. Something else I'm not good at because he can guess every gift, no matter how you package it. He just has a knack. :( SOOOO we chose to take him frisbee-golfing after church on Sunday. Something he enjoys, but we haven't done in years. WHEW! Plan set, money accounted for, timing perfect.
Friday night I asked the typical pre-weekend questions: " honey, do you have any plans for this weekend?" His answer: "I thought we'd go frisbee-golfing tomorrow. It's something we haven't done in a long time, and I thought we could spend time together as a family." He was so proud of himself. I was so...disgusted. I just looked at him. Faith ran and starting whispering in my ear "Mom..can I tell him?!!" Distraction techniques were definitely out at that point. sigh.
So, I fessed up. I told him the plans, he felt bad for spoiling our surprise (again) and we all went our way.
Saturday he asked the question: are we going frisbee-golfing today, or are we waiting until Sunday? Heather (God bless her!) piped up with: Let's go hiking around Mission Dam! Oh, salvation! He hadn't been there, so it was fresh. The weather was cool and lovely, so off we went! Here are some pictures of our lovely day - a 2 hour hike and family bonding!


The first challenge: cross the river without wetting your toes















The path widely travelled












The streams you can drink from..safely









A happy family




We all had a wonderful adventure, and plan to do much more of this. There are some beautiful places hidden back here, just waiting to be discovered by us. And...leg muscles to develop! I must confess to some very sore calves after this hike, and 3 hours of frisbee-golfing. Apparently, fun comes with a price :D

Observations

I took the mutts (yes, they are! Chloe is a Lab/Dachshund mix, and we all know what Micah is!) in for shots yesterday. What a riot! Their personalities are so...marked. Take Chloe for example. Put a leash on her, and she has more energy than a cat set in water. It's controlled energy, but energy still. She sits still to have the lead attached, then heads for the door..and I do mean heads. She leads with her face, and you can't really dissuade her too easily from the course she has chosen. Open the front door, and she's off! She doesn't run away with you...too much training for that. She does head out with conviction though. I got her in the car - suburban, mind you - with a little encouragement to hoist herself up the step. She settles herself down on the floor, and waits. With great anticipation.

Micah is another story. He doesn't know yet the joy of being on a leash. He hasn't experienced traversing sidewalks, exploring parks, and going camping. What he does know is that if Chloe gets to do it, he should, too. So, if she's going out that front door, he isn't going to be left behind. In fact, he's going to lead the parade! Bring a leash out, and all he sees is a new chew-toy. So, it took a minute to disengage his teeth from the clip in order to have a handle on a wayward child. He has a new trick of trying to throw himself from your arms if you are carrying him and he sees something fascinating...so you really need 3 hands to keep him safe. NOW, imagine me, 2 excited dogs, 2 hands, and 2 leashes. It was soo...exasperating to try to get them going in the same direction at the same time. Fortunately, I had the foresight to put Micah's crate in the car first so I could round him up pretty quickly. God is good, that's all I can say!

Now...our arrival at the vet. Let's not sidestep the lovely 5 minute journey with Micah howling in the crate because he doesn't know what's going on, and what delights he might be missing. I am SO thankful for a vet that's only blocks away! Let's also not forget my surprising look into the rear view mirror to see Chloe hanging out the open window behind me, which I thought to be closed since it was a whopping 50*! Try rolling up an automatic window from the driver's seat, while the dog is standing on the control in the back! Mission accomplished, car parked, and puppy drug from a crate he now doesn't wish to exit.

We arrive with 2 dogs furiously wagging their tails and running together. Open the door. Walk inside, purse in one hand with the handle now breaking, and 2 dogs in the other. Here.. the fun begins. Chloe lopes in, takes one sniff, tucks her tail, turns around, and promptly RUNS for the closing front door. Micah wiggles in, sees something new, plants his feet, and barks to beat the band, then he decides it's time to investigate, and hang the consequences. Poor Chloe lost out, the door closed just a hair in front of her nose. No escape. Nowhere to hide. No understanding from that woman with the dangling, spilling purse or that rat fink puppy who just won't be quiet. In fact, the pup just wants to run about the room and yap! How unsettling! I can see her mind going: Perhaps I can use my bulk and drag us from the room???? MOM! Get me outa here!!!

The rest of the visit was...less eventful. Chloe tried to hide behind me, under me, or perhaps even under the flooring. After a bit, she settled down with her head as close to my lap as she could get it with mournful eyes of reproach. Micah decided to check out the room, one object at at time. He never did quite understand that red lead around him...just an inconvenience at times. He did love to perch confidently in my lap, like a king surveying his kingdom from time to time. He spent the most time with the Vet. It seems he has "puppy mange" and needed a skin biopsy to have it confirmed. Chloe had to be taken back, well, truth-be-told, carried back, for a very short time. It seems she needs to lose a few pounds, the winter was VERY kind to her.

The ride home was quieter. Chloe was most grateful to enter the car again. Micah only howled 1/2 way home. The were both rewarded with a short stroll around the block, then a lovely nap. The nap, truthfully, was more for me than them. I was exhausted!

Personalities are amazing things. Some of us are bold, some timid, some love change, some dread it with a passion. Some are adventurous, some quiet and unassuming. Some confident, some cowardly. God makes us all individually, not from a set mold. We are unique. So are our animals. I love how Micah brings out the fun side of Chloe, and I really appreciate the patience and forbearance she has with him. I love his boldness, inquisitivity, and connivery. He's quite the manipulator. They are both good for us. I see myself in some of these qualities (I won't confess which ones) and I see the ones that need refining. Praise God, He is the one conforming me into the image of Christ. I would hate to have my dear friends have to put their hands around my muzzle and say, firmly "don't bite!"

Valentine Update

Well...we took our little "man" to the Vet on Friday. He needed a new-puppy checkup. So, we asked the burning questions: WHAT is he? and... How big will he get?

We got some interesting answers. The Vet had her educated guess, then she took him around to the rest of the crew to poll for answers. The most common answer: oh, no, not the "C" word....here it comes... Chihuaha mixed with terrier (Jack Russell???) and perhaps some beagle. No Schipperke? NO. None that she could see. Hmmmm.... He could weigh anything from a whopping 10 pounds, up to a mighty 20 or 30. This was NOT the answer I was hoping for. A little Labrador mixed in would have given me much to smile about...but not what I was really anticipating. What can I say? He's a pound-puppy!

Sigh. He's still a keeper, and gets cuter by the day. He and Chloe are now playing regularly (and loudly..she's a talker) and we have discovered what a little conniver he is. The antics keep us all smiling.

Now...if he would just get that potty-training down!

our Valentine

This is our new beastie boy. Sorry...puppy. He arrived at our house Sunday night, the 10th, full of himself and very decidedly full of puppiness. His name is Micah. He is a Schipperke (skipper-key) mixed with...we don't know what. They say that Labs are friendly..with everyone. Perhaps he has some in him, the handler guessed so. Time will tell. I can tell you that he weighs just over 4 pounds right now...so he's got some growing to do if he's ever going to make the 30--40 pound goal they set for him. I can tell you that he has the mouth of a very large, high-pitched whiner. Amazing. He didn't make a sound at the shelter! I doubt he would be sitting in my lap right now if he did.

I must tell you that there are certain things I thought I would never have in a dog. I can't stand little yappers. I can't stand lap dogs. There is an attitude, a neediness that makes me cringe. The owners, not the dogs. I didn't want a label on me that says : "Look! I bet she buys designer clothes for her dog and takes it to the grocery store!"

Then I met Micah. There is something endearing about someone who just wants to be near you. Something about utter dependence. And joy. I got to contemplating (at 2 am during the potty-hour) that this is what God wants for me. Dependence, and joy. He wants me to utterly desire to be cuddled up in His lap, waiting on Him, with an expression of adoration and obedience. So...perhaps that is why this particular puppy is in our home. A great reminder of love.

His name is Micah. It means "Who is like God." What could be better?

Becoming

I heard the other day that change is good. My first reaction was: NO! It's NOT!

I don't like change. Well, to be honest, I don't mind change. When it is me making the choice, then I'm all for it. I give it all the enthusiasm it deserves. But change thrust upon me unannounced and unprepared for is a no-no. I like to be in charge, you see. I've discovered a great joy in organizing events and people. It's not that I need fanfare or applause, or even to be recognised all that much. I just like to put things into motion and be able to have input in how it's all going to go. I like control. I used to believe that I belonged up on stage, stirring people to action or a change in how they view things, yet circumstances and opportunities have left me in the background, and I am quite delighted and challenged to do just that. It doesn't come naturally to me. oh no. Yet here I am.

I've been thinking about change a lot lately. There have been many of them since December. Heather coming home is a biggie. Faith turning 9 has been huge. Change in me because of the things God is leading me through and conforming me out of/into. I have found myself embracing some of them, and really groaning over the others.

I have been told that the process of change may be difficult, but the change itself is good. I guess I can agree with that one. God didn't leave me as He found me, and He isn't going to leave me the way I am now. He is going to change me. He is going to make me like Jesus. And that is good.

Decaf or Regular

Sometimes I claim to be decaf but in reality I am regular or vise versa. Sometimes what I give to people is not who I am. God has been unraveling this truth about myself. Do your insides match your outsides? Sometimes we think we have it all together but in reality we have nothing together. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have lived in false places and thought it was alright to live there 'cause no one really knew the truth about me, and as long as they believed differently, then it was alright. The beauty of God is that He sees right through us and that He loves us enough to call our bluff. But not only calling our bluff, but also helping us walk out of it to truly be what we claim to be. ~Shawn MacDonald

These words ring in truth deep inside me. I understand the heart of this, and lately I have been convicted of living it. I wonder what people would think if they saw the "real" me. Would they be shocked? People call me so spiritual. They see me as a leader. A counselor. Someone who knows so much of the Truth. Well, maybe I do, and maybe I am. But God sees the inside. He sees the questions I have unanswered, and unasked. The ones He is patiently waiting to reveal in me so He can answer them. For example, lately, He has spoken to me on the topic of "grace." I used to think I understood grace. The fact that I don't have to earn God's love. That I am saved by faith in Christ Jesus alone. I thought I lived in it, and lived an example of it. WELL. I started to study the book of Galatians and was told that "I HAVE been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." Well then! Ponder that one a while, and consider the sin we live in each day. Come to find out, I don't really have to pray. I don't really have to do anything. I get to. How amazing is that???? How freeing??? I don't have to feel guilty because I fall asleep saying my prayers. Don't get me wrong, I behave out of love for my Savior. I respond out of love. I GET to pray. I GET to have fellowship with God. But, there is no guilt attached, just forgiveness and grace. Abundant grace. Ponder that one a while!

So, you see, I am decaf and regular, all at the same time. I am a sinner. I am also forgiven. I live in this body of death, but live in grace and forgiveness. The hard part, for me, is to recognize when I am taking advantage of grace and not abiding in Christ. I want people to see what grace has done for me, not a covering of knowledge without the heart to go with it.

New Year Festivities

As a return to old traditions, we spent our New Year's weekend at a cabin in the woods with extended family. This is the little "Golson Cabin" that we stayed in. A funny little place, but it seemed to suit us. We did move in a day late, as I was quite a bit under the weather and unable to drive up to Idyllwild.

We got all settled in. Faith brought her friend Angelyna, and they

really settled in! We had games, toys, clothing, cold-weather gear, and hair supplies everywhere! They were truly content!

Next, it was time for some fresh air and excersize. There really wasn't much in the way of snow, but with a little imagination, and a strong kick, you can make snowballs and attempt to bury the other side!

After all that fun in the sun, it was time for games with the older cousins. "Clue" kept them all busy, with some good snacks to go with it.

Mind you, the kitchen was a bit of a challenge, but I love a good challenge when it comes to serving people good munchies!

Evenings held all the warmth of friendship, a cozy fire in the fireplace, a good movie and sweet conversation. It's good to catch up with family, and renew old relationships. (note the faces in the window!)

We also had a rousing game of "Apples to Apples" with the whole

family - all 16 of us! From grandparents to youngest cousin, it was a great way to spend New Year's evening.

Happy New year...may it be filled with all the warmth of family, friends and love of God in Jesus!