Weariness

Gal 6:9 And let us not grow weary while doing good; for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.


I am challenged by this verse. I want to do good, especially to those I care about. Those to whom the Word of God has been received, and I have had the privilege of walking alongside. Where I struggle is with the time I have to give, and knowing the amount of giving I am to do. I struggle not to get in God's way, and yet be the hands and feet - the vessel - He would have me to be. My job is to not lose heart. To lose heart is defined as

a) to have one's strength relaxed, to be enfeebled through exhaustion, to grow weak, grow weary, be tired out

b) to despond, become faint hearted

c) as a woman in labor experiences before delivery - when the work is hard and painful, but also unfinished and unrewarded.

So, one of many questions remains: how do I not lose heart? What is the antidote? A better question: what do I do to not get in this place of weariness. For we are to spend ourselves (2 Cor 12: 17) for the sake of the beloved. I believe the answer is in the calling. To make sure I specifically am called to this particular path. This particular service at this particular time. And then, to make sure my own well of love and giving is filled by the source of all love and strength. I need to make sure my first priority is to spend time with my God. To know that I am a fit worker, cleansed and filled with the Holy Spirit's empowering. For He who calls is faithful, He also will do it. Then the weariness will be one of the body spent in holy service, not the one of a body and mind working against God's holy calling and equipping.

Thanks, God, for the reminder that this giving isn't about me, it's about You in me.

Heart's Desire

Zechariah 8:23b NLT

And they will say, 'Please let us walk with you, for we have heard that God is with you.'

OH! To be know far and wide that God is with you, because you walk with Him! I want that. I hunger for that. Not for my notoriety, no, no! But for His! I want to be a woman after God's own heart. I want others to see Jesus in me, and desire that kind of relationship with Him as well.

Let it be, dear Father. Let YOUR light shine through this cracked pot, for Your glory and other's salvation. Amen.

Ministering Spirits

Just a little story to share -

My friend lost her 12-year companion today. She was a dog who was her constant confidante and playmate, and sometime reason-for-living. While I was out with this friend this afternoon, we were in the parking lot over by her car. She had given me some dog food to get it out of her car, and burst into tears. I went over and put a hand on her shoulder, when a man walked up and offered to help us. (He must've thought she had car trouble) We told him no, we were OK. He asked again, watching her, and I quietly told him that she had lost her pet today. He very quietly asked if he could pray for us. I said yes, and she nodded. That precious saint prayed for her dog to be returned to her, for God to comfort her, for Jesus to be her helper, etc. It was so obvious he was a Christian. He said Amen, then checked on her again to see if there was anything he could do. I quietly explained that her pet had died - he smiled and said it was OK, Jesus knew her heart and would answer every prayer. Then he smiled and walked away.

I just love that God sends angels unlooked for. He was just the right touch at a hard time, and I felt really ministered to. I was able to send my friend home knowing that God had sent her a personal touch, to build up her faith and comfort her.

She wasn't the only one.

Partnerships

Women's Bible study begins again on Wed, the 17th. This is big news! I love Bible study. I love the accountability, sitting at His feet to learn fresh and new, the new groups and women I get to know a little better as we fellowship. I love it.

I was reading Ezra 5 this morning and was struck by a verse.

The enemies of Judah and Benjamin heard that the exiles were rebuilding a Temple to the Lord, the God of Israel. 2 So they approached Zerubbabel and the other leaders and said, "Let us build with you, for we worship your God just as you do. We have sacrificed to him ever since King Esarhaddon of Assyria brought us here."
3 But Zerubbabel, Jeshua, and the other leaders of Israel replied, "You may have no part in this work, for we have nothing in common. We alone will build the Temple for the Lord, the God of Israel, just as King Cyrus of Persia commanded us."
4 Then the local residents tried to discourage and frighten the people of Judah to keep them from their work. 5 They bribed agents to work against them and to frustrate their aims. This went on during the entire reign of King Cyrus of Persia and lasted until King Darius of Persia took the throne.

I think what struck me most was that the residents who came offered to help build. They offered evidence of worship and history. They wanted to serve - or so they said. I marvel at the response, because you know that they needed all the help they could get in order to accomplish this most holy task. They said 'no - you have no part in this work, for we have nothing in common.' It strikes me so deeply because I need someone to come alongside to help with this work of leading group, and it has to be someone with the same mindset, goals, and calling as myself. Someone who won't tear down what is being built up. Someone who can guard the work of the Lord. This is a tricky thing to find, I have found, especially if you aren't familiar with the voice of the Holy Spirit. People can serve without Him, but it surely is harder to do!

God has blessed me with an assistant I love. She is precious to my heart. More importantly, she has the same vision I do. To love the ladies and point them to Jesus. She has a passion for God's Word and a tender heart for the lost and struggling. I feel blessed this year, as in the past, to know that this is a partnership that God has joined together. I can't wait to see what the Lord will do in all our lives this coming year.

My Bad

Well, I promised "more to follow", and then didn't follow through.  My bad.  I guess I need to fulfill that statement before I move on, and not be made out a liar by my own writings.  Sometimes, I just get myself in trouble.  sigh.

The week was one of the most stunning in weather I have experienced.  The wind was mild, the sun was clear and bright, the morning overcast was almost non-existent, and my tan just glows.  I got the absolute joy of having about 5 hours without children, husband and responsibilities on Tuesday, and I spent it worshipping the son and the sand.  It was delightful.  I must admit to not quite reaching the middle of my unprotected back with sunscreen, and paying the price for the rest of the week.  Truly my bad!  I did enjoy finding myself with a pillow under my head and an adventure book in my hand...cold soda beside me.  The picture of contentment.

While I missed my sweet spouse, I must admit to stretching out fully on the bed each night to sleep undisturbed.  No dogs to tend.  No children to fuss (they were both snoring quietly from the moment their heads hit the pillows until about 7:30 each morning) no blankets for fight over.  I have to admit to tremendous loneliness the first couple of days, though.  My honey was at work and my best friend was taking care of visiting relatives.  I don't usually get lonely or depressed..it was quite startling when I identified the emotions.  Thankfully, my phone worked for outgoing calls and the kids kept me well entertained.

Heather decided to go visit her cousins who live over an hour's drive away during this week.  Another great surprise.  She has never driven this freeway, much less alone.  She is surely gaining in confidence and wisdom!  I am so proud of her!  She went mid-week, then joined me at the end of the week for the last beach-trip before school started.  She's such a great person to boogie-board with, I really missed her.

Speaking of boogie-boarding, I must confess to really enjoying myself out there now that I own a wetsuit.  Such fun!  I actually rode, for the first time, a wave that I think surfers set their sights on.  I hit a huge wave just before it broke, and rode the ensuing 3 breakers behind it all the way into shore.  Exhilarating!!  Faith has become quite the boogie rider, herself.  She will spend the whole day out there riding in various waves, on various vehicles (boards, rings, whatever is at hand) completely forgetting to come in to eat.  or drink water.  It's amazing.  She used to be so afraid of the waves.  Of course, she is still cautious about depth and needs to build up her swimming skills.  She is still such a joy to watch.  She, too, makes me proud.

By the time the week was over, I was ready to come home.  I felt that I did all the things I wanted to - a bike ride to Starbucks with the girls was our finishing hurrah.  I look back fondly, and look forward to going again.  We each grew this week, and we are the better for it.