Night Owls

In the Beginning.... Faith's class had a field trip to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. We left school early, chaperones all matched up and cars at the ready. I had Faith, Michaela, Dylan and Noah. Dylan and Noah were assigned to me #1, because I am familiar with the class and in particular these two boys, and #2, because I'm not afraid to say NO with a decisive tone to my voice. I must admit to using that decisive tone on more than one occasion on this trip.
These are our night-time tent-mates. They are lovely girls who tell great round-robin stories, drink vast quantities of hot chocolate, and (mostly) tried to eat small crawling critters. It was a good night had by most.
This is a 5 year-old alligator that we all got to pet. Now, where else in the world can you pet a baby alligator and smile while doing it?
Of course, you MUST visit the petting zoo when at the park. Faith is particularly fond of deer. And, may I say, the deer are equally fond of her!

This is the grand finale - minus a slurpee in the car on the way home. Weariness certainly lowered the volume in the car on the way - whew! A good time was had by all. I must commend the Wild Animal Park for a superbly organized, well-rounded, well-fed outing. It was informative, fun, nicely paced, and refreshing. I reccomend it highly!

Looking

I've been thinking lately. Scary, I know.
I'm about to begin a new endeavor, and I'm not sharing what exactly that is. It's just that I have been taking stock of a few things lately, and keep coming back around to the same realization. It's simple, really. A simple truth. Here it is:
If I would just get the simple, amazing, wondrous truth of the Cross, my sin just wouldn't be so attractive any more. I wouldn't be drawn to it. I wouldn't be mesmerized by it. I wouldn't be wallowing in it. I wouldn't even be giving into it.

Now. How simple is that?!

Isn't it great that God, in His infinite wisdom, knew that it would be the simplicity of the gospel that would confound the wise. It's the simplicity of looking to Him that breaks the spell of looking to sin. It's the simple grace of God in which we stand, and which we cannot stand before Him without.

I love that God loves the simple. He must. He loves me.

Preparation

I was preparing for Retreat today...and in it's preparation I was reading a C.S.Lewis book. That may sound an odd combination to you, so let me explain. I am leaving early in the morning in order to pick up passengers and drop off daughters so that I can play with my friends before our arrival time. We are going to brunch, then heading off to see the new Narnia movie: Prince Caspian. I wanted to acquaint myself with the Land of Narnia before seeing the movie, so I picked up the book The Silver Chair. I found this lovely passage I want to share with you:

Stand still. In a moment I will blow. But, first, remember, remember, remember the signs. Say them to yourself when you awake in the morning, and when you lie down at night, and when you wake in the middle of the night. And whatever strange things may happen to you, let nothing turn your mind from following the signs. And secondly, I give you a warning. Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain the air is clear, and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart and to pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters.

I love how God meets me wherever I am. How He is so very personal, to be preparing me for what He wants to teach me, show me, impress upon my heart. He has such wonderful things in store for me this weekend, He isn't willing to wait to begin.
Here I am, Lord. Conform me.

Hands

Yesterday was my kind of day.

We began with church: I had to cry first thing. Pastor Dale talked about hands. Mother's hands. He asked us to look at our hands - and not to notice if we all needed a good dose of lotion and a manicure. He talked about Mom's hands: how they wipe a fevered brow. How they hug a tear away. How they wash untold amounts of dishes and fold mountains of laundry. How they hold a Bible to read, in order to gain wisdom. How they fold to pray. How, in all this, they seek to be used to raise Godly children full of wisdom and grace. What conviction! I wondered how many opportunities I have missed to bless my children with my folded hands, and missed holding my Bible for wisdom instead of relying on my own.

After church service, we headed home. Faith and Heather had arrived early and put some sweet touches on the house: a banner on the door, fresh flowers and tablecloth in the dining room, the smell of scones baking in the oven. Precious! Chuck served made-to-order omelettes with all the trimmings for brunch (yum!), Grandma was in attendance and the drooling dogs were locked in the back yard.

Then: the very best part of the day. Piling on the couch to watch movies, cuddle, share running commentaries, and leftover scones and fruit to munch. Not to mention a couple of dear friends to share it with. How can you not LOVE a Jane Austen/Cary Grant festival on a Sunday afternoon?! With your children! (Chuck chose the Padres on the other TV. Somehow, it seemed the manly thing to do!)

It was a sweet day. I feel so honored to be ... honored. I know it's because my girls really want to spend time with me. I know that I delight to be with them. To watch them create a gift of themeselves with all their talents and imagination is such a delight. I want to pass on a legacy of offering up the work of their hands to the Lord, for His good will and pleasure. I know that I was full of smiles yesterday - as I believe the Lord was as we both watched His girls give themselves away.

I pray to use my hands for service. It's my heart's desire - to serve. My girls and my sweet husband sure served me yesterday. Utter sweetness.

Thanks, God, for calling me to be a Mom.

21

We celebrated Heather's 21st Birthday today.

21.

Wow. Where did that time go?

I know we spent an awful lot of it together...as a youngster we used to dance around the house together (we had a lot less furniture then!) As a youth we watched TV shows and fell in love with characters and places. As a 'tween, we investigated medical miracles as we welcomed a new little sister to the household. As a teen, we laid around on the couch and read books to each other. Remember Lord of the Rings? We tackled it in all it's wonder and uniqueness one hot summer. We learned to drive together - me as a refresher course, and she out of sheer necessity and obedience. We tackled new hair styles, the new world of makeup, the trials of fashion, and the silence that only really stubborn girls can give their mom's. We tackled cooking (cookies being our specialty), cleaning (she's a great organizer of other people's belongings), and even did a few years homeschooling. We played puppies - er, she played, I let her bark. We tried sewing - not her gift. We tried gardening - she grew lovely strawberries! And, from a very young age, she learned how to take care of a mom with a lot of medical difficulties, and did it with great wisdom, compassion, and forgiveness.

Tomorrow, she turns 21. Today, we went to Shakespeare's Tea Shoppe for high tea. As a surprise which, by-the-way, she guessed before we even arrived. She's like her dad that way. A quick study. Anyway, Dad and I wanted a sweet way to celebrate her life, her passions, and her future. High Tea seemed just the thing. It was a reminder of something she loved as a small child (tea parties) and something she truly experienced as an adult in York. It was a smashing success, but for the simple thing of forgetting the camera. ugh! What a lovely time we all had, as she shared reminiscences of Bible college, showed us the proper way to order and drink tea, and described everything we were sampling. She's really turned into a fabulous young woman, with a style all her own, and someone I really feel privileged to call friend.

Tonight, grandma took us all out to dinner to celebrate. I must confess, Heather has always been "her girl," ever since she babysat for us one week when Heather was about 4 months old. It's a match made in heaven. It was so sweet to see the two of them sharing some quiet time and special glances reserved for the two of them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Heather, my special treasure! May this be a year full of joy, growth, and blessing.

Ready Enough

I've been thinking about the last month...lots to consider there, really. I had some really good lessons on the word "grace." That topic could be considered a lifetime study - but, I've spoken (or written, as it were) a touch on that one already.

Grace, in all it's concepts and realities, was the greatest gift of understanding I've had in quite some time.

Then, there was taking care of Dusty. I've had the privilege of carting him to and fro to multitudes of doctor's appointments...some necessary, some not. Some were of the "let's check you out and see what we can do to make things better" variety. Some were of his own making, because he needed some special attention and doctors seem to be his instrument of choice. It was a privilege, really, because he is a proud man and very independent. The fact that he allowed me to help, and even welcomed it, was a statement of great trust and acceptance. I must admit, it was really lovely to have him all to myself, and steer the conversation to topics that I enjoyed and he seemed to want to comment on. All in preparation for: the last month. I have loved the progession: grace, then a use for the gifts of the Holy Spirit which I had begun to doubt I even posessed.

Then, there was the new puppy. Micah. I've written of him a bit lately, too. He's a beast. It's just the perfect nickname for a "little man" that thinks he's big, but just can't seem to reach those places the big dog gets too. Yet. I know Chuck thought I was crazy wanting another dog - puppy - but I must say that in the long run, God's hand was in it and he has proven to be a big blessing. He was a great source of comfort after long days at the hospital: something warm, silly, and soft to remind us of God's intimate care for us in every situation.

Now, you know, Dusty passed away not too long ago. I've had soo many people asking this same question: "Were you ready for him to die?" Such an interesting question. I don't think you can ever really answer that question with a resounding YES! I can say that we had time to prepare, time to prepare him, and time to let go. In the long run, I can truly say that God doesn't ask you if you're ready...when He calls, you go. HE must have felt we were ready enough. He had done the preparing: Dusty walked with God. I even had the opportunity to pray the "sinner's prayer" again, just because he wanted that blessed assurance. God had prepared our family as we all began to grieve with a smile on our faces as Dusty said his good-byes. Whether we wanted him to go or not really wasn't the question. God decided we were ready enough, and enough was what He has given us to get through it all. Enough grace. Enough love. Enough attention span. Enough energy. Just enough, which is all you really need.

What I found the most interesting after he passed away was this: People not asking questions....just saying what they think you want to hear, and moving along. No one has asked about his last days. No one has asked if he said anything special. No one has really looked me in the eye and asked if there was anything I wanted to share or talk about. Isn't that funny? I tell you, I have learned an awful lot about what to do when someone goes through this experience.

Rule #1: give them all the time and space they need to get through it.

Rule #2: ask, then listen for the answer.

We all need to be heard...even if it's hard on the hearer. As the hearer, we aren't sure what to ask, or what to say. I can now say with all assurance: ASK. Part of grieving is sharing the bitter, and the sweet. And sweet it can be when someone goes home to be with the Lord. Sweetness is the sunrise as your loved one draws his last breath. Sweetness is the smile that crosses your face as the sunrise turns golden, and you know they are now walking the streets of gold with Jesus. Sweetness is knowing you spent your last hours meeting other's needs, and it wasn't in your own strength or might or thoughts. Sweetness in the peace you can't explain, but you just feel it around you like a warm, cozy blanket as you leave the hospital room for the last time.

Ready enough? Yes. God made sure, because His time is always perfect, and it is He who calls us home.

Resurrection Day

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever would believe in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

Praise be to God, we are not condemned, but redeemed and promised Eternal life. Life here just isn't "all that!"

Hallelujah.